[RavennaAl]

The WMLMF season starts this Saturday, April 10. The London Union Jacks were scheduled to be in the North division, but due to delays in getting their uniforms ready in time, they will have to wait until next year. Instead, Weirdwolf’s Werewolves will be playing this season in the North division. Here is the breakdown of each team and their prediction for the season:

North Division

Canadian Sasquatch: The two time defending league champions remain the team to beat. Grog and Muckman are a couple of 1,000 yard rushers in a pounding ground attack. Stinkwater was the second highest rated passer last year. The defense was first in yards allowed, and the secondary was second in interceptions. Until somebody knocks them off, they will be favored to repeat.

Prediction: First place


Kalamazoo Killer Bees: The Bees had the number one rated defense last year. Norman Nest had a league high 8 interceptions, while Elliot Gould and Mudd Dauber were number one and three in tackles. Peter Pollen and Steve Swarm are steady runners. Their weakness was in the passing game, where Kerry Kingbee finished last in the league. New bases should help out the receiving corps, but will it be enough to push the Bees into the playoffs?

Prediction: Second place


Battlin’ Bozos of Battle Creek: The Clowns stumbled in the early goings last year, then turned everything around and made it to the title game, only to give up 6 turnovers in their loss to the ‘Quatch. One Eleven and Greaterthanfour finished second and fourth in tackles, while their offense was led by 2 Cents, who finished fifth in rushing. When they decide to play football, the clowns can keep up with anyone. The question is, which Bozo team will show up?

Prediction: Third place


Munich Third Reich: The Reich finished last in every category last year, and their record showed it. But as bad as they were, they still were competitive in several of their games. A few lucky breaks here and there, and they could have had a winning season. With almost no running game, Munich relied on QB Wilhelm Klink, who finished second in yards passing. Willie Wolf led the team with 530 receiving yards. The defense played inspired at times, but still gave up too many yards on the ground. New bases will help, but it may not enough.

Prediction: Fourth Place


Weirdwolf’s Werewolves: Not much is known about this team, other than the fact that they will be playing an iron man lineup of 11 players on the roster. The ref’s will have their hands full trying to keep them from chewing up the footballs, not to mention figuring out who will pick up the little ‘gifts’ left behind on the field. Perhaps the largest obstacle for the ‘Wolves will be in playing out their schedule, since they can only play one night a month when the moon is full.

Prediction: Last place



Un-North Division

Midwest Mennonites: The Mennonites played perhaps the most consistent of all the teams last year. Led by the Bible Thumper, Billybob Weisser, the Amish guys had a fierce offense that featured a 1,000 yard runner in Speedy Ezekiel. Weisser hopes to duplicate his incredible performance from last year, where he was the highest rated passer in WMLMF history with a 144.3 rating, throwing only 1 interception in 113 attempts. Their defense is led by Sam Smucker and Louis Lapp on the right side of the line, and Billy Yoder in the secondary. Abraham Martin John replaces Lynn Schmidt, who left to play for the Werewolves, in the secondary.

Prediction: First Place


Three Mile Island Toxic Waste: Don King led the team in interceptions, while Colon Powell was fifth in the league in tackles. The defense played tough most of the year, though there were moments of breakdowns. The offense featured the third leading rusher in the league with Orenthal Simpson gaining over 1,053 yards. George Dubya was solid at QB with a 125.6 rating. If they can keep from imploding, the Waste can make a run of it.

Prediction: Second Place


New Zealand Zombies: The Zombies are coming off a disappointing season. They started the season playing well, then faltered down the stretch. Willie Davis led the defense with 34 tackles and 3 sacks. Marcus Allen struggled late in the season and finished with 675 yards. Bart Star and Dan Fouts also struggled, and together combined for a league worst 84.7 rating. They will need to get it together if they have any hopes of making the playoffs.

Prediction: Third Place


San Francisco Flaming Fairies: The Fairies made a miraculous run late in the season last year to make the final spot in the playoffs. Tommy Cruise led the league with 1924yards, throwing often to his favorite receiver, league leader Gene Simmons. Johnny Holmes and James Leach came on late in the year after struggling early. Barney Frank and Rod Stroker led a defense that played inconsistent during the year. The Fairies had high hopes of getting new uniforms for the season, but, just like their playoff aspirations, it will have to wait until next year.

Prediction: Fourth Place


Egyptian Ra: Another expansion team for the WMLMF, the Ra is led by Moses at QB, and Ramesses and Khufu at running backs. Tutankhamun stars at middle linebacker and Sphinx handles the kicking duties. Only time will tell if the Ra can keep up with the rest of the WMLMF.

Prediction: Last Place