Mike, excellent job on the draft analysis. You cracked me up.
Just one minor correction though. The Fairies traded their 2010 draft pick to Hoop in exchange for WR Tiny Tim. I'm not sure how much interest Hoop has in Dickie Flamer, even if they both share the same alma mater, Morehead State.
I'll be posting the schedules pretty soon. For now, here's the rosters of all 10 teams:
Battlin' Bozos of Battle Creek
OFFENSE...................................
DEFENSE
1.4............... WR................. -6................. LDT
2 Cents.......... RB................ AM................... LDE
5 ½.............. RB.................. Dice 6.............. MLB
!.................. RB................... FM.................. RDE
More 0r Less..... RB.......... Greaterthanfour..... SS
Percent.......... RT............... Left U-turn....... RCB
Pi................. QB................. Not Allowed....... FS
Pisces............ WR............... One Eleven ....... RDT
?.................. LT................... Packman......... MLB
Snowflake....... LG............... Peace ............. NT
Squareroot17..... RG............. Plus................ RLB
Target ............ TE............... Right U-Turn..... LCB
Triangle.......... C................... Smilie............ LLB
Special Teams
Bernie.................. K
Midwest Mennonites
OFFENSE
John 8:7 Stanley Steamer ....................... RB
John 3:16 Steve ‘Stone Cold’ Austin............. TE
John 11:25 Doug ’The Dog’ Kennel................. C
Luke 6:31 Steven ’Sticky Hands’ Stucky........ WR
Luke 12:34 Billy Bob ’Bible Thumper’ Weisser..... QB
Matt 5:3 Walkder Plank.............................. RG
Matt 5:5 Luthar Lamp............................... RB
Matt 5:8 Leroy Sutter............................... LG
Matt 6:33 Bubba ’Big Daddy’ Roth.................. RT
Prov 13:1 Lordy Yordy............................... RB
Prov 15:1 Mudder Smucker......................... WR
Prov 22:1 Brother Speedy Ezekiel.................. RB
Tim 6:10 Roger Raber................................ LT
DEFENSE
Exodus 20:08 Samuel Smucker................................ RDE
Exodus 20:13 Henry ‘Hellfire n Brimstone’ McCracken..... MLB
Exodus 20:14 Defender Bender.................................. NT
Exodus 20:17 Jebediah Smith..................................... LDE
Genesis 1:12 Deoder Yoder........................................ LCB
Genesis 3:22 Harry Christner...................................... LDE
Genesis 4:8 Abraham Martin John ............................... FS
Genesis 19:24 Louis Lapp........................................... RDT
Psalms 20:3 Barney Fahrney...................................... RLB
Psalms 23:1 Billy Yoder............................................. . RCB
Psalms 23:4 Brian Brenneman..................................... LLB
Romans 6:23 Brother ‘Mad Dog’ Matthias....................... MLB
Romans 8:31 Bud ‘Beerman’ Weisser............................. SS
Special Teams
Rev 21:4 Mathew 'The Mule' Martin.........................K
Munich Third Reich
Offense:............................... Defense:
5 Wilhelm Klink.............. QB..... 27 Dieter Schmidt............. LCB
7 Fritz Mueller.............. RB..... 30 Klaus Werner............... SS
14 Peter Becker............. WR..... 39 Dirk Lange................ FS
23 Wilfried Hofmann........ RB ..... 41 Dirk Braun.................. RCB
25 Willie Wolf............... WR..... 47 Manfred Mann............ RLB
33 Sven Wagner............ RB..... 48 Wolfgang Hahn............. LLB
34 Richard Meier............ RB..... 66 Wolfgang Hockstetter..... MLB
56 Rolf Walters............. RT..... 69 Albert Kohler................ MLB
57 Hans Schultz............ LG..... 79 Joeseph Herrmann......... RDT
61 Maximillion Hahn.......... RG..... 91 Fredrich Heimell......... LDT
76 Franz Stutgart........... OC ..... 97 Derrick Danker.......... RDE
80 Gunther Huber .......... TE..... 98 Albert Burkhalter.......... NT
82 Dieter Zimmermann.... WR.....
Special Teams
1 Franz Schultz ............... K
Kalamazoo Killer Bees
Offense: ..............................
Defense:
16 Jason Stinger WR ........ 7 Hank Hornet RCB
17 Kerry Kingbee QB........ 12 Willie Wasp LCB
22 Sam Swarm RB........ 41 Buzz Baker SS
23 Steve Swarm RB........ 45 Norman Nest FS
33 Peter Pollen RB........ 52 Larry Larvae LLB
40 Nick Nectar RB........ 57 Dave Drone RLB
56 Fred Worker RT........ 65 Jerry Yellowjacket RDE
58 Nate Vespa RG........ 66 Mudd Dauber LDE
59 Hank Honeywell OC........ 77 Doug Drone MLB
67 Joe Honeycomb LT........ 86 Harry Hybrid MLB
68 Jim B. Keeper LG........ 90 John Belushi LDT
80 Afri Canized TE........ 91 Garrett Morris NT
88 George B. Hive WR........ 92 Elliott Gould RDT
Special Teams
1 Paul Inated K
Canadian Sasquatch
OFFENSE ................................
DEFENSE
4 Flowers............. RB........ 27 Stickums........ LCB
7 Stinkwater........ QB........ 39 Gopher........... SS
14 Badgas............ WR ........ 40 Junior........... FS
20 Trotter............ RB........ 43 Ralph ............. RCB
21 Muckman........ RB........ 55 Chappy............. LLB
32 Grog.............. RB........ 57 Thinker............ RLB
50 Rocky............ LT........ 62 Spook.............. MLB
61 Kenji.............. RT........ 66 Bubbles........... MLB
67 Jojo.............. RG........ 77 Shorty........... RDE
70 Ho-chi........... C........ 82 Too Tall............ LDE
72 Stump............ LG........ 91 Patches........... NT
80 Tipper............ TE........ 96 Tank............. RDE
81 Theodore........ WR........ 99 Shy Guy........ LDE
Special Teams
3 Bunyons........... K
Three Mile Island Toxic Waste
OFFENSE ...............................
DEFENSE
11 George Dubya......... QB..... 20 Don King .................. RCB
17 Jim Baker............... WR..... 21 Dick ‘Tricky’ Nixon....... LCB
19 Terry Owens ......... WR..... 37 Dick Cheney............... S
27 Eric Dickheadson ..... RB..... 39 Ollie North.................. S
30 Steve Colbert.......... RB..... 44 Carlos Helu ............... RLB
32 Orenthal Simpson...... RB..... 57 Jessie Jackson........ LLB
41 Snoop Dogg............. RB..... 62 Ted Kennedy.......... MLB
50 Johnny Cochran........ C..... 63 John McCain ........... MLB
52 Robert Blake............. RT..... 75 Willie ‘Mayor’ Brown... LDE
67 Ralph Nader.............. RG..... 77 Cassius Clay.............. LDT
69 Malcolm Ex .............. LT..... 83 Colon Powell ............. RDE
70 Franklin Sinatra ........ LG..... 90 Rush Limbaugh ............. NT
81 Jerry Falwell.............. TE..... 91 Al Sharpton.............. RDT
Special Teams
5 Fidel Castro................ K
New Zealand Zombies
Offense:
Marcus Allen................ RB #32
Jerome Bettis................. RB #36
Bob Brown..................... OL #76
Tim Brown..................... WR #81
Dave Casper................. TE #87
Dan Fouts..................... QB #14
Franco Harris................. RB #32
Bob Hayes..................... WR #22
Russ Francis.................. TE #81
Larry Little................... OL #66
James Lofton................ WR #80
Tom Mack..................... OL #65
Curtis Martin.................. RB #28
Jim Otto........................ OL #00
Art Shell....................... OL #78
Bart Starr...................... QB #15
Defense:
George Atkinson................ DB #43
Cornelius Bennett.............. LB #55
Willie Brown.................... DB #25
Harry Carson................... LB #53
Willie Davis...................... DL #87
Jack Ham........................ LB #59
Willie Lanier...................... LB #63
Charles Mann................... DL #71
Ray Nitschke..................... LB #66
Deacon Jones.................... DL #75
Merlin Olsen...................... DL #74
Alan Page ........................ DL #88
Donnie Shell...................... DB #31
Willie Wood........................ DB #24
Louis Wright....................... DB #20
Special Teams
James "Jimbo" Dunagan......... TD* #99
Billy 'White Shoes' Johnson.... KR #84
Reggie Roby........................ PT #4
Adam Vinatieri .................... PK #4
Coach: Vince Lombardi
* TD = Tackling Dummy
San Francisco Flaming Fairies
Offense: .......................................
Defense:
6 Tommy Cruise..................... QB..... 26 Richard Simmons.......... FS
11 Antoine Devries.................. WR..... 37 George Bush............. RCB
21 James Leach...................... RB..... 40 Forrest Whittaker........ LCB
29 Robert Reed....................... RB..... 41 Jay Walker.................. SS
30 Gene Simmons.................... TE ..... 47 Barney Frank ............ RLB
31 Max Packs......................... RB ..... 51 George Michaels ......... LLB
45 Johnny “Big Stick” Holmes..... RB..... 57 Chris Jericho............... MLB
50 Jessie “Reverend” Jackson..... LT..... 76 El Tonjohn................... NT
55 Larry Fudgeman.................. RT..... 77 Leroy “Bad Man” Brown.... LDE
61 Sam Stuffer........................ RG..... 81 Jack “Bowler” Stone....... RDE
67 Bubba Roper........................ C..... 87 Ron Simmons .............. MLB
71 Wonman Gang ..................... LG..... 91 Dick Wanker.............. LDE
83 Mike “Moonwalker”Jackson .....WR..... 97 Rod Stroker.............. RDE
68 Tiny Tim............................WR
Special Teams:
5 Pat Medown..........................K
Egyptian Ra
Offense:
QB - Moses
WR - Akhenaten
WR - Kamose
TE - Xerxes
RB - Khufu
RB - Ramesses
RB - Khnum
RB - Imhotep
OL - Osirus
OL - Amenhotep
OL - Taharqa
OL - Artaxerxes
OL - Menes
Defense:
DE - Neferhotep
DT - Nectanebo
NT - Khafra
DT - Sneferu
DE - Nehebkau
OLB - Anubis
MLB - Hakor
MLB - Tutankhamun
OLB - Tefnakt
FS - Horus
SS - Piy
CB - Iryhor
CB - Ka
K - Sphinx
Weirdwolf's Werewolves
OL/DL Wolfman Jack
OL/DL Michael Landon
OL/DL Peter Wolf
OL/DL Lynn 'Weirdwolf' Schmidt
OL/LB Wolfgang Puck
TE/LB Lon Chaney Jr.
RB/LB Jack Nicholson
RB/DB Wolf Blitzer
WR/DB Michael J. Fox
WR/DB Oz
QB/DB/PK Warren 'Full' Moon