When the competitive nature supercededs the fun and love of the game what do you do?

[GrandMasterKC]

After spending sometime in MD and not only playing but taking mental notes from "Big Salty-The Legendary Keith Chalmers" I left with a new wealth of knowledge about being a man in this hobby and how many have came face to face with "I must win vs love/fun of the game"....many have faced this or someone in the metamorphis( ) of this phase...some say take a timeout from play, some have left all together..what is your experience? i reflect back to a recent game with a Coach I admire and respect greatly ..we had a fun game, no ref for most of the game, played a gentlemans game, battled to the end and in OT(man that dang OT is my story this season 1-3 this year)he won 34-28, I went to shake his hand and he gently pushed my hand away and gave me a big "man hug" and honestly if I had won, I believe he would have done the same thing for the "man hug" was a nonverbal statement of "Enjoy the game". Last year this Coach helped me understand the balance between winning/losing and how to keep it fun and balanced...... this Coach is a key reason why I still play today ....so again what do you do?

[Silverhorse 228]

When it is no longer fun...then it is time to quit.I lost both of my Mid-Ohio MFL opening games on the last play. Although I admit I was disappointed and the competitive juices were flowing...I still had fun...even in defeat.

This is...a game...sometimes I think a lot of coaches forget that little fact and it is the fellowship that is the reward, not the wins and loses.

[Reginald Rutledge]

it may be time to take a step back. For me, I can truly relate to what you are talking about. When you champion a league for 15 years, you see a lot of people come and go. That's the nature of the beast.

For me, I think I stayed in the game too long. I loved bringing in Road Warriors and recruiting new members but being on the end of games where coaches felt they had to beat me at all cost really destroyed my interest in playing competitively.

I don't mind losing. I don't like to lose but I always play with great sportsmanship. My wife always use to complain to me that I always had to be the bigger person, even if I know things were not right in Denmark. Now, I have no interest in playing in tournaments, leagues, or anything else for that matter. If I play, I am just going through the motions.

When you've taken so many bullets over the years, you really feel its not worth your time and it is not fair to the people you are playing. I remember a game against a coach for the the right to go to the Super Bowl one year. All game, I had called whether I hit a pass or missed. In a very crucial play, I threw the pass and I know I hit the pass. One ref said I did not hit the pass and two refs said I did. I knew I had the best angle and would dare cheat anybody in this game. So the ruling is if there is a dispute, you challenge the call. He did and he lost the challenge. He continued to argue the call for another 30 minutes, wasting valuable time.

At that point, I wanted to just let him have the game. I offered to forfeit the game because I would rather not even be involved at that point. It's instances like this that has defined what I think is and always has been a problem at this hobby. I have seen guys not play others, try to create an aura about themselves, and have excuses because they don't want to lose and look at not playing as a victory in itself.

I have been blamed for cancer, marriage breakups, and not helping people in the league. I don't think none of this is true but it does tend to make you just go it alone. That's why this game is so beautiful You don't have to play with others to enjoy the game. We all played alone before we even knew of anyone else.

I think competition is great but when it is met with arguing ANY call when the rules state you can challenge the call or go by the refs word, then I am out. I now am about to play alone and this has been the most fun I have had in the game since my childhood.

That's just my take...

Reg

Matt's statement is about as cut-and-dry and true as it can possibly be. If it is not fun then it is not worth the effort - a waste of your precious time.

The formula for keeping it fun is pretty simple. That is to refuse to play against anyone who can not keep the games and competitions in proper perspective. Playing against only those who can lose and win with grace and class are worth your time and effort. Leave the rest to tote whatever baggage they have on their own.

The fun is still there for me. I enjoy the gatherings and the fellowship more than any wins I accumulate. The losses take me between 20 seconds and 20 minutes to get over, depending on the situation. In any event, I enjoy the company.

-Mike Pratt

[eflfanatic]

I play purely for the fun of it. That must be it. Because in 12 years of playing leagues and tournaments I have only won two games. Driving as far as 12 hours just to get put out of a tournament in one game. But then that also gives you time to fellowship with other coaches. That's what I enjoy most about the hobby more than anything else anyway.

[GrandMasterKC]

by no means am I asking this question because I am contemplating leaving the game at this point Just needed to hear the wisdom of the Coaches that have and still may be experiencing the love of the game dimishing as the competitive nature supercedes. It is a blessing to sit with the vets and in the middle of the game they share with you ways to improve your game, focus, and strategy....thats what it's all about. With experience and time comes wisdom in most areas. Thanks for sharing yours about the game of EF.

[Coach K-LO]

Coaches,

We all have our "love and Fun" aspects of the this Hobby/Sport. When we play any game, we are trying to win the game. Now to reach that end, many will take different roads to that outcome, some treat it like a life or death stuggle...while others continue to play it as the game it started out to be.

I really love playing this as FOOTBALL. Treat everything about it as building a football team with all the types of players you need to be successful. It does not matter what style, rule types or anything like that to win games if you play it out like a football game.

I have played some of the best coaches ever in this hobby and have enjoyed every single game! Win or lose, I had a great time enjoying another man's company playing the most challeging game ever made. Most of the time without any angry words, peace and harmony flows thru the air as room fills with more of the same as each coach or friend walks thru the door.

It's each person's own desire to win that changes them into "raging bulls" hell-bent on getting the win , when they feel they have to get it. Trust me, winning alot has made me change my feelings about playing compeitively because every game I play now - I am expected to play a great game becaus emy opponent expects that because they are coming with their best game.

I try to respect everyone when we play, although I can talk trash with the best of you...

The fun you take from this game is each own thing, but don't let the wins/loses define your enjoyment if you cannot handle a loss or win with the same joy.

[GrandMasterKC]

[sweetka]

You could not believe the timing of this post. It is perfect for me.

Due to some life changes for me my perspective of this hobby has changed. It's much more important to enjoy the company of the people around me more than the game itself.

When my dad and I used to talk about the game he would always ask why do you play a game that gives you headaches. I would tell him because it's a habit and and love the game. He told me he don't understand why I would do something on my free time and not enjoy it. You work, you have a very busy family life, you need to have time to relax. You would not believe how those words resonate now. You remember everything you were taught in these moments.

Until I played in the CBSMF with Gregory Hardman, Marty Paris, Jim Davis, Simmie Lassiter, Steve Martin, Norbert Revels, and Don Lang, I found out what it was like to show up at the game site and see everybody smiling, joking, playing intensely, and still smiling and joking. I had so much fun, the people were so much fun, the atmosphere was so positive, you couldn't believe. Well, I guess you could because most of you saw it first hand, why?, because for the first time in years I was so excited and motivated I dove in head first with video and anything else. It was the least I could do.

Since my dad passed in July his words resonates now. I shall no longer play where people can't greet you and are positive. I shall not play where negativity reins over comradarie, togetherness and integrity. I shall not play where there is a needless tension based on someone's success or failures on the field, or more importantly, in life.

In the past I used to settle for showing up to silence, grumbling, tension. Sometimes I contributed to problems by not being outgoing enough, or being too competitive. However, whenever anyone was distressed, the game always came second as this is a hobby and ultimately it has always been about people with me. I go to the kid's school, most call me coach even though I haven't coached some since elementary. Parental hugs everywhere, positivity. Everywhere I go is positive, tough sometimes, yet some places in EF you got to avoid the miserable and those who look beyond the field in a negative way.

As I refocus my priorities in life and miniature football my commitment will be to promoting the MFCAL, enjoying family, and playing with my good friends in the spring. Those are guarantees. Not so much the CBSMF, moreover, the great group of guys I played with.

Those are my thoughts.

[ChrisStacey]

Here,Here !!!!!!!
To all the above posts.If this "hobby /game" defines anyones
goals or aspirations in life then they need to step back and
check their priorities( in life).It's a GAME,not life and death.......
Have FUN !!!!! Just my opinions.

SEMPER FI,
Chris Stacey
Hampton,VA