The WMLMF is under way.....

[RavennaAl]

Werewolves Run Wild Over Mennonites

Weirdwolf’s team ran for 5 touchdowns and Warren ‘Full’ Moon threw for another as the Werewolves easily handled the Mennonites 45-24. The Wolves took a 17-3 lead into the half behind 2 Michael J. Fox TD’s and a Wolfman Jack field goal. Speedy Ezekiel scored on a 60 yard TD pass on the first play of the second half to pull the Amish within 7, but TD runs by Wolf Blitzer and Oz made it 31-17 going into the 4th quarter.

The final quarter was a wild one, featuring a kick return by Ezekiel for a touchdown and a score by Luthar Lamp, but a TD run by Moon and another TD by Oz sealed the game.

Moon finished the game 7-9-0 for 162 yards and a TD while Oz ran for 103 yards and 2 TD’s. Billy Bob Weisser was 7-11-1 for 181 yards and a score for the Mennonites. Wolfman Jack led the Wolves defense with 5 tackles, Abraham John had 7 tackles for the men in black.



Michael J. Fox scores for the Wolves

[RavennaAl]

Munich Rolls Again

Munich took advantage of 3 New Zealand turnovers and cruised to a 38-17 victory. Wilhelm Klink tossed 4 TD passes and Sven Warner ran for another as the win put them into a tie with the defending champion Sasquatch for first place in the WMLMF North division.

Bart Star and Dan Fouts combined for 163 yards passing going 11-17-1 and a score, but it wasn’t enough to compensate for their lack of a rushing game. Curtis Martin and Jerome Bettis combined for -3 yards on 6 carries. Marcus Allen was the lone bright spot for the Zombies, getting 84 yards on the ground. Richard Meier caught 6 passes for 71 yards and 2 scores for the Reich. Donnie Shell had 3 tackles and an interception for New Zealand, Dieter Schmidt was tops for Munich with 5 ½ tackles.



Charles Mann and Willie Davis combine to sack 'Colonel' Klink

[RavennaAl]

Here's the standings after week 5....


Standings:

North Division ........... W ...... L .... OL..... PF ..... PA

Canadian Sasquatch...... 4...... 1...... 0...... 141...... 104

Munich Third Reich......... 4...... 1...... 0...... 153...... 99

Weirdwolf Werewolves.... 3...... 2...... 0...... 149...... 100

Battlin’ Bozos................ 3...... 2...... 0...... 140..... 142

Kalamazoo Killer Bees...... 2...... 3...... 0...... 123...... 127




Un-North Division ....... W...... L...... OL.... PF...... PA

Egyptian Ra................... 3...... 2..... 1...... 118...... 132

Midwest Mennonites....... 3...... 2...... 0...... 125....... 134

Flaming Fairies............... 1...... 4...... 1...... 132...... 169

New Zealand Zombies ..... 1...... 4...... 0..... 153...... 180

Toxic Waste.................. 1...... 4...... 0...... 139...... 174

[RavennaAl]

Here's the stats for week 5. The season is half over and things are getting interesting....


Leading Rushers

......Player ............... Team............. Yards/Att....... Ave....... Tds

1) 2 Cents…........... Bozos................497 / 55....... 9.0....... 4
2) Grog................ Sasquatch......... 467 / 62....... 7.5....... 6
3) Orenthal Simpson. Toxic Waste..... 451 / 41...... 11.0...... 10
4) Johnny Holmes…... Fairies………...... 441 / 48.…... 9.2…..... 6
5) More or Less...... Bozos............... 379 / 25...... 15.4...... 3
6) Jack Nicholson….. Werewolves…….. 365 / 57.…….. 6.4.…….. 7
7) Sven Wagner.... Third Reich......... 307 - 32....... 9.6....... 6
8) Luthar Lamp...... Mennonites......... 290 / 32........ 9.1....... 2
9) Muckman.......... Sasquatch........ 274 - 47......... 5.8........ 5
10) Speedy Ezekiel... Mennonites ....... 269 / 55....... 4.9....... 6
10) Khnum............ Ra................... 269 / 21......... 12.8........ 4



Passing Leaders

..........Player...........Team ........ Comp - Att - Int - TD’s... Yards ….. Rating


1) Starr/Fouts **... Zombies........ 44 -74 - 5....... 8 TD’s..... 927 yds…. 111.6
2) Wilhelm Klink.... Third Reich....... 39 - 68 - 5..... 6 TD’s..... 854 yds..… 100.7
3) Stinkwater....... Sasquatch....... 43 - 69 - 1..... 4 TD’s..... 677 yds….. 108.1
4) Billybob Weisser Mennonites ..... 30 - 56 - 3..... 5 TD‘s...... 670 yds..…. 104.0
5) Tommy Cruise... Fairies............ 35 - 69 -4..... 4 TD’s...... 666 yds….... 79.7
6) Warren Moon….. Werewolves….. 35 - 61 - 7.….. 4 TD…..... 603 yds….... 73.4
7) Moses……….....… Ra…………...….. 36 - 65 - 9.…. 3 TD’s…..… 567 yds….... 60.4
8) George Dubya .. Toxic Waste... 27 - 50 - 7..... 4 TD‘s....... 549 yds…... 79.9
9) Pi................... Bozos............. 31 - 62 - 3..... 6 TD‘s...... 531yards...... 91.5
10) Kerry Kingbee.. Killer Bees......... 30 - 57 - 8..... 6 TD‘s...... 534 yds….. 83.3

** The Zombies alternate QB's during the course of the game between Bart Starr and Dan Fouts

Leading Receivers

Player ................. Team........... Catches - yards... TD’s

1) Willie Wolf........... Third Reich..... 13 - 385...... 1 TD’s
2) Richard Meier..... Third Reich....... 17 - 315...... 2 TD's
3) Jason Stinger..... Killer Bees........ 8- 289........ 6 TD’s
4) Mike Jackson....... Fairies............ 7 - 210....... 2 TD's
5) Target............... Bozos............. 9 - 197...... 2 TD's
6) Steve Austin...... Mennonites....... 5 - 196....... 1 TD
7) Speedy Ezekiel.... Mennonites........ 10 - 195..... 1 TD
8) Curtis Martin....... Zombies…........ 11 - 190...... 1 TD's
9) Tim Brown........... Zombies.......... 7 - 190...... 1 TD
10) Muckman.......... Sasquatch....... 11 - 184........ 0 TD



Sacks

Player................ Team....... #

1) Wolfman Jack...... Werewolves. 3
1) Nectanebo.......... Ra............... 3
3) Charles Mann...... Zombies...... 2 1/2
4) Albert Burkhalter... Third Reich.. 2
4) Deacon Jones...... Zombies..... 2
4) Dice Six.............. Bozos........ 2
4) Khafra................ RA................ 2
Twenty three tied with 1


Interceptions

Player....... Team...... #

1) Willie Wasp...... Killer Bees..... 5
2) Bud Weisser...... Mennonites... 3
2) Wolf Blitzer....... Werewolves... 3
2) Manfred Mann... Third Reich.... 3
2) Michael J. Fox... Werewolves.. 3
Eight tied with 2



Leading Tackles

Player............... Team......... # Tackles

1) Elliott Gould.......... Killer Bees.......... 24
2) Colon Powell........ Toxic Waste........ 22 1/2
3) Tefnakt.............. Ra.................... 21
4) Joseph Herrmann... Third Reich......... 20
5) Richard Simmons... Fairies............... 19
6) Albert Burkhalter... Third Reich......... 18 1/2
7) Jerry Yellowjacket. Killer Bees.......... 18
8) Norman Nest........ Killer Bees......... 17 1/2
8) Louis Lapp........... Mennonites......... 17 1/2
Three tied with 17

Top 3 offenses:

Rushing..........yds

1) Bozos..........1165
2) Sasquatch.... 862
2) Werewolves... 831


Passing............. yds

1) Zombies....... 927
2) Third Reich... 854
3) Sasquatch... 677


Total............... yds

1) Zombies......... 1700
2) Bozos............ 1696
3) Sasqutch....... 1539

Top 3 defensees:

Rush yds allowed

1) Werewolves..... 368
2) Sasquatch....... 552
3) ra.................. 623


Pass yds allowed

1) Zombies........... 497
2) Third Reich........ 551
3) Werewolves....... 576

Total yds allowed

1) Werewolves....... 944
2) Sasquatch......... 1230
3) Third Reich......... 1292

[RavennaAl]

Here's the matchups for week 6.......

Mennonites at Killer Bees: The Mennonites have been struggling to run the ball, but not as much as Kalamazoo. At least the Amish have Billy Bob Weisser for a QB. Then again, the Killer Bees lead the league in interceptions. It’ll be a tight game, but the men in black come out a field goal ahead.

Third Reich at Flaming Fairies: San Francisco has the talent to play with anyone, but they keep beating themselves. Munich leads the league is scoring and in points allowed. Not a good sign for a Fairy team that has trouble scoring. The Reich continue to roll by 13 points.

Ra at Toxic Waste. Egypt has proved that they are for real, beating the Werewolves and the defending champion Sasquatch in back to back weeks. The Toxic Waste continue to underachieve. The sand men make a push for the playoffs. Ra by 7 points.

Sasquatch at Zombies. Canada looks to regroup after getting upset last week. The Zombies are a better team than their 1-4 record. This game will be a lot closer than most people think. The champs pull it out by 3 points.

Bozos at Werewolves. This is my pick for the game of the week. The Bozos have the leagues #1 rushing game, the Wolves are #1 against the run. Something has to give. Look for Pi to have a stellar game against a questionable Wolf secondary. Clowns by 6 points.

[RavennaAl]

Finally.... It's been a long 'week' with the convention and a couple of trips to the hospital for my son. He's doing fine now, so I can return to normal, if that's really possible. Here's 'Week 6'.......

Quick Clowns Clobber Klutzy Canines

Speed kills, just ask the Werewolves. Overpowered by a much stronger Wolf team, Battle Creek used it’s quickness to force 6 turnovers in a 31-21 victory. The Bozos used their superior speed to run around and in between the lumbering lobos, often getting into the backfield before the Wolf running backs could reach the line of scrimmage and causing 2 fumbles. With their running game struggling, the Wolves turned to Warren ’Full’ Moon, who completed 9-16 passes for 146 yards and 2 touchdowns. Unfortunately for Weirdwolf’s team, the faster Bozo secondary was able to outrace the Wolf receivers to the tune of 4 interceptions.

The Bozo’s fabled rushing game was limited to just 20 yards on the ground, so the clowns relied on Pi, who came through with a spectacular game, throwing for 251 yards and 4 touchdowns on 12-17-0 performance, connecting with 7 different receivers. The Bozo defense was led by Left U-Turn, who had 4 tackles and 2 interceptions. Lynn ’Weirdwolf’ Schmidt had 2 tackles and a sack for the Werewolves.

More or Less gets into the open field

[RavennaAl]

Reich’s Plans Foiled By Fairies

San Francisco took advantage of numerous mistakes by Munich as it kept it’s slim playoff hopes alive, winning 23-10. Johnny Holmes was the star for the Fairies, returning a kick back for a TD, and scoring on a 93 yard screen pass on the Fairies second play from scrimmage. San Francisco needed the big plays, as their QB, Tommy Cruise had an off day, only completing 3 of 8 passes for 142 yards and a TD. The Fairy running game produced 98 yards, led by James Leach’s 69 yards and a TD.

Munich had trouble scoring in the red zone, as their 7 trips resulted in only 10 points. Their first trip resulted in a turn over on downs after getting a 1st and goal from the 9. Their second trip ended with a field goal by Franz Schultz, but Schultz missed on the next try. Sven Wagner got their lone TD on a 20 yard pass from Wilhelm Klink to start the second half. Their next 2 red zone possessions resulted in a fumble and interception. They ran out of time on the last trip.

George Michaels led the Fairy defense with 6 tackles and an interception. Wolfgang Hockstetter had 4 tackles for the Reich.

Sven Wagner, #33 slips past the Fairy defense

[RavennaAl]

Zombies Trip Up Bigfoots

New Zealand came back from the dead to beat the Sasquatch, 28-24 in a nasty, penalty filled game that ended on a controversial call by the officials. The big guys broke out to a 14-0 lead on a pair of TD runs by Muckman. The Zombies struggled in the first half, as Junior had two interceptions and Thinker another to keep the Zombies scoreless at the half.

Tim Brown returned the second half kick 90 yards to give New Zealand excellent field position with a first and goal from the Sasquatch 9 yard line. Brown gathered in a 1 yard pass to cut the lead to 14-7. James Lofton’s 51 yard punt return gave the Zombies a first down at Canada’s 10, where Billy Johnson ran it in to tie the score. The ‘Quatch moved down the field, but had to settle for a field goal and a 17-14 lead going into the final quarter. Jerome Bettis gave New Zealand a 21-17 lead with a 63 yard TD scamper. Moments later, Lofton recovered a Curtis Martin fumble and ran 57 yards to up the score, 28-17. Tipper brought the ‘Quatch back to within 4, 28-24 on a Stinkwater pass, and then recovered the onsides kick, giving the Canadians one last chance. Stinkwater moved his team to the Zombie 16. Then, on the last play of the game, Stinkwater threw to Tipper in the end zone, where he was immediately hit by George Atkinson. The officials ruled that Atkinson had come up with an interception, but replays clearly showed that Tipper had possession and should have been awarded the touchdown. The officials had to be escorted from the field, following some menacing glares from the behemoths.

I’d like to thank Adrian Baxter, Mark Francis and my good buddy, Ken Allen, who took turns coaching the Zombies during the game. They all did an excellent job, playing with an unfamiliar team and rules.


George Atkinson, #43, celebrates his game saving interception

[RavennaAl]

Mennonites Swarmed By Killer Bees
Steve Swarm ran for a team record 186 yards and Peter Pollen added 124 yards of his own as Kalamazoo wore down a fatigued Mennonite team, 42-21. Billy Bob Weisser threw for 123 yards, completing 10-14-0 and 2 touchdowns, while Luthar Lamp rushed for 101 yards and a TD for the Amish, but it wasn’t enough to keep up with a rejuvenated Killer Bee team.

The two teams battled to a 21 all tie in the first half, but it was all Kalamazoo after that. Pollen scored 2 of his touchdowns and Swarm returned a punt 88 yards for a score, and the Killer Bee defense harassed Weisser, sacking him 4 times while shutting the Mennonites out in the final 2 quarters. Willie Wasp led the Bees with 5 tackles, while Abraham John had 3 tackles for the Mannonites.

I want to send a special thanks to Tim Young, who guest coached the Mennonites for the game. Tim is a great friend and exemplifies what MFCA coaches should be. Win or lose, Tim always has a terrific attitude and enjoys playing, no matter what. Thanks again Tim!

Al Dunham and Tim Young show their coaching skills at the MFCA convention

[RavennaAl]

Wasted Opportunity Costs Three Mile Island

When they needed it most, The Toxic Waste defense just couldn’t stop Egypt’s offense from moving the ball, resulting in a wild shootout loss, 45-42. Egypt took a 10-0 lead in the first quarter behind a 69 yard TD run by Ramesses and a Sphinx field goal. The Waste battled back and took the lead on TD runs by Steve Colbert and Orenthal Simpson. Imhotep put the Ra back on top with a 51 yard run. Simpson and Imhotep then traded kick returns for TD’s as the special teams for both sides struggled on kick offs, resulting in a 24-21 Ra lead at the half.

The teams traded TD’s back and forth until the final quarter, where the Toxic Waste tried to rally back. George Dubya completed a couple of passes and scrambled 21 yards to give Three Mile Island a first down at the Ra 13. Colbert and Simpson runs lost 6 yards, and Dubya was sacked twice in a row to end their chance for a comeback. Ramesses had 151 yards rushing and a pair of touchdowns for Egypt, while Dubya completed 7-11-1 for 141 yards for the Waste. Rush Limbaugh had 4 ½ tackles for Three Mile, while Egypt was led by Nectanebo’s 5 tackles and a sack.


Khafra sacks Dubya in early game action