Do you have this problem?

[NEW CASTLE HiTMEN]

My wife and I set one Saturday a month to do what we want. She goes out with friends to dinner or a movie and I play either MF or poker. Works out great. We set a day for the month and plan accordingly. If I want to paint a team I try and find time during the other weeks to do this. I will get up an hour or two early in the morning or sneek a figure or two in the evening.

[Coach K-LO]

The subject matter compels me to respond..........

Mr M and all m y EF/MF Brother - here is another view ....


For me, I have never really let my EF world disappear when I said "I DO" some 2 decades ago......

... we had an agreement as we were working on our home, One area for her stuff/hobby which at the time was sewing and crafts and one area for My EF stuff........all good in the beginning

After the kids began walking and then going to school, her hobby took a back seat and all but disappeared. Mine on the other hand began to grow... soon I had started a small league (3 guys) that we would get together when ever we could most of the time it was either a Friday night or Sat nite LATE and that caused some problems because I would not get home until 2-3 in the am. After some time the complaints slowed down because I would not travel every week, but host quite a few games (same time frames but at home) so she could see that we really was buzzin' down.
Always did the things around the house that was my job/chore before I would play.

Once I started playing in the MEFA, more games got played but the times were better and of course came the Miggle tounaments and others that I had to really travel to. She would never want to come with me and my son (once he started playing).

Fast forward to today, I still have my hobby, and she does not complain at all except when she has to drop me off at the clubhouse because she may have to pick me up and that would conflict with her new hobby - FRIENDS.

K-LO

I live with my g/f and she is such a winch when it come to miniature football. First off, she thinks that I'm playing a toy that I should of gave up when I was 10. Then she doesnt want the boards around, and so on and so on. I tell her, that I dont go to clubs, bars etc. and this is not that bad. She then in turns says ok ok..you do that and I'll go drinking with my g/f's. Really, it doesnt bother me cause she cant stay up past 8:30 shes out like a light. But, ya know, she is this way about everything. I've been talking about getting back into playing live music again. I did this for a long time, and she tells everyone I wish he would. Now, anytime I go to practice, she says can we turn some music on or do this or that, and wont let me play. I so want to blow a fuse.......

I think alot of women need to chill out with the criicism of their men being in the hobby.

My girl Jenny is very supportive of my interest in the hobby and has accompanied me on numerous occasions to visit Tom Johnson, Dre Banks, Will Travers, Adrian Baxter, AB Burgess, Dearell Brevard, and Rene Smitty Smith. She went with me to the convention in 2006 and wanted to go with me to the Seawall Brawl although I ended up not making it.

All the guys love her and she is really like my co-pilot. If possible, try to include your girl on occasion in some of the things that you do in the hobby. It also may help to introduce her to the wives of your league mates.

She is less likely to be standoff(ish) if you have an open door policy with what you do, i.e., give her the option to travel with you on occassion. But to complain about what you are doing to me is not cool. Let her know that there are many of bad things that you could be doing other than playing EF.

Thats what I tell her...there are alot of things I could be doing besides this. I invited her to Detroit and now she is giving me crap about me wanting to go....silly huh

Tony,

When I first saw this post I wasn’t going to respond because of the subject but since so many others have, I’m feeling led to now. First let me start by encouraging you to be careful who you let speak into your marriage. And let me say now to everyone who has responded, please don’t take offense to this. Hopefully everyone’s intent was good but Tony really has no way of knowing this for sure. I’m pretty sure you (Tony) don’t know everyone on this board yet you have invited us to share opinions on your wife's behavior regarding your marriage. I know you said that your intent was to not put her out there…but you did. Although we love MF and most of us are good guys you have to remember that this is still a public forum…it may not be as safe as you think. Think about it, if your wife read your initial post she would probably be upset.

I’ll offer this briefly. I encourage you and your wife to sit down and discuss your expectations of each other in your marriage. Figure out what standard you are going to build your marriage on and stick to it. My wife and I chose the Biblical standard. Everything for my wife and I to build our marriage and family on is in God’s word. In Ephesians 5 as husbands we are called to love our wives as Christ loved the church and our wives are called to respect their husbands. Just this one concept alone is huge. On another note Proverbs 25:24 says it’s “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife” Now in Biblical days they actually had little rooms on the roofs of their houses so today’s equivalent would be like spending that time in the garage. As an example, since by both my wife and I are committed to building our marriage on the Bible she is able to look at that verse and see how dealing with a quarrelsome wife affects us as husbands and try not to go there. On the other hand I have to ask myself “How am I loving my wife?” and I’m not speaking of the bedroom. That’s the trip thing about it. Men and women are “wired” so differently. I may think I’m showing her much love but she may feel I’m not. So I have to work from how SHE feels not how I feel. It’s a hard word but it’s real and it works. However, it only works because we use the same “rule book”. If someone commits a penalty, they get flagged and we go to the rules.

Find a few cats who you KNOW have your back but who also understand how to have a successful marriage and speak with them privately for encouragement.

In closing, I’ll add this…marriage works…it is work…but it works.

David C.

You guys can do what I have done.........

KEEP HER PREGNANT AND IN THE KITCHEN..........

with that being said.....does anyone have an ice pack for my head that was just hit with a frying pan.


look at it this way.....at least we are not spending or time with another woman...its a bunch of plastic men....just doesnt seem right....lol

[GUTTMANN]

There are some women who understand that Men will have Toys/Hobby's to keep their youth inside of them. As long as they get their time, there should be no problem. Now, if you put EF before other priorities, then that may be a problem.
I just ask my wife-"Would you rather that I be in a Bar, drinking and flirting"?
Seems to work. LOL!!
Mike

[WEIRDWOLF]

Originally Posted by GUTTMANN

I just ask my wife-"Would you rather that I be in a Bar, drinking and flirting"?
Seems to work. LOL!!
Mike

I asked my wife that and she said "yeah". Hhhmmmm, what is she trying to tell me?
Good thing this bar has Wi Fi so I can keep posting. "Barkeep, another round of Saki for the Sumos and give me another Trapist Ale." Oooo, check out the blonde.....

davidmc, you are right about how my wife would feel if she read this. I hope she never does. If so, it would be bad.

My main reason to this post was to see if any other coaches out there has the same problem. As I can see, some of you do. This makes me feel a little better.

I had another talk with my wife and we seem to be a lot better now. She is just not happy with the timing of me playing this game. Also I came into a league way behind in games and not having my team ready.

I had to take time to paint and decal a team. Now I have to find time to fit in make up games. Time is just not on our side right now.

The two games I played so far took a LOT of time to play. If my games did not take so long to play, then my wife would not be so mad.

Thanks again guys, for all your input.

Sincerely,
Tony Johnson
P.S Please, do not reply about why my games took so long to play. This would be a whole new topic I rather not talk about.