The Fantasy Football season.....

[RavennaAl]

Flaming Fairies 31 - Toxic Waste 21

San Francisco’s defense helped to overcome a horrible performance by their quarterback, Tom Cruise, forcing two turnovers by the Toxic Waste in keeping their playoff hopes alive in a 31-21 victory over Three Mile Island. Orenthal Simpson had another spectacular day, rushing for 151 yards and George Dubya threw for 173 more, but it wasn’t enough as the Waste were knocked out of playoff contention. James Leach had a career high 131 yards running for the Fairies, but it was the defense that saved the day.

Barney Frank’s vicious hit on Simpson forced a fumble in the Waste’s opening drive. Frank also intercepted the ball midway through the final quarter. He fumbled the ball while being tackled, but the ball was scooped up by the middle linebacker, Ron Simmons who ran 62 yards for a TD that clinched the game for the Fairies. Cruise only completed 2-6-0, but those two completions went for 120 yards and a score. Jack Stone and Dick Wanker had 5 tackles each for San Francisco while Al Sharpton had 3 for the Waste.



San Francisco starts from their own 20

[RavennaAl]

The standings after 'week 9'


NORTH
TEAM ..... W/L............ PF............ PA
Sasquatch 6-3......... 295............ 259
Bozos...... 5-3-1...... 259............ 250
Killer Bees.. 5-4......... 265............ 202
Third Reich 2-7......... 223............ 305

UN_NORTH
Mennonites. 6-3........... 281........ 241
Fairies....... 4-4-1.......... 228.......... 272
Zombies..... 4-5........... 214.......... 221
Toxic Waste 3-6........... 272......... 284

With just one week remaining, the Sasquatch, Bozos and Mennonites have clinched playoff spots.

The Killer Bees will be in the playoffs with a win or tie in their last game, or a loss by the Fairies.

The Fairies need to win their last game, and have the Killer Bees lose their last game to make the playoffs.

[RavennaAl]

Here's the stats after 9 weeks of play. Week 10 got delayed due to the MFCA convention. I should be finished with the last game this weekend, then playoffs start.


Leading Rushers

......Player ............... Team............. Yards/Att....... Ave....... Tds

1) Muckman........... Sasquatch........ 1181 / 112....... 10.5....... 12
2) Grog................ Sasquatch......... 1152 / 103....... 11.1....... 14
3) Speedy Ezekiel... Mennonites ....... 933 / 101....... 9.2....... 11
4) Orenthal Simpson. Toxic Waste...... 919 / 98....... 9.4........ 10
5) Peter Pollen.... Killer Bees.......... 838 / 77........ 10.9 ........... 10
6) 2 Cents........... Bozos................. 794 / 82......... 9.7........ 7
7) Steve Swarm..... Killer Bees ........ 746 / 78....... 9.6........... 6
8) Luthar Lamp…... Mennonites…….... 671 / 86...…… 7.6.…......… 7
9) Marcus Allen…... Zombies………...... 637 / 64.…... 9.9.…........ 7
10) Jerome Bettis... Zombies.............. 603 / 85......... 7.1........... 8


Passing Leaders

..........Player...........Team .......... Comp - Att - Int - TD’s... Yards..........QB Rating


1) Tommy Cruise... Fairies............ 77 - 124 - 12..... 14 TD’s..... 1676 yds.............104.2
2) Wilhelm Klink.... Third Reich....... 81 - 139 - 11..... 14 TD’s..... 1664 yds.......... 101.1
3) Billybob Weisser Mennonites ..... 61 - 102 - 1..... 14 TD‘s...... 1248 yds..........144.6
4) George Dubya .. Toxic Waste... 68 - 106 - 7..... 13 TD‘s..... 1326 yds............115.8
5) Pi................... Bozos............. 51 - 99 - 6..... 11 TD‘s...... 1128 yds............104.3
6) Starr/Fouts **... Zombies........ 61 -99 - 8..... 8 TD’s..... 1125 yds...............97.4
7) Stinkwater....... Sasquatch....... 47 - 75 - 5..... 10 TD’s..... 1108 yds..............132.5
8) Kerry Kingbee.. Killer Bees....... 45 - 86 - 8..... 15 TD‘s........ 1041 yds............96.9

** The Zombies alternate QB's during the course of the game between Bart Starr and Dan Fouts

Leading Receivers

Player ................. Team........... Catches - yards... TD’s

1) Gene Simmons..... Fairies........... 22 - 679...... 8 TD's
2) Willie Wolf........... Third Reich..... 17 - 504...... 5 TD’s
3) Steve Colbert…… Toxic Waste….. 19 - 493.....… 6 TD's
4) Jason Stinger....... Killer Bees...... 10 - 397......... 7 TD's
5) Mike Jackson........ Fairies.......... 14 - 366......... 2 TD's
6) Luthar Lamp......... Mennonites..... 15 - 328........ 4 TD's
7) Speedy Ezekiel..... Mennonites..... 13 - 315...... 3 TD's
8) Mudder Smucker.. Mennonites.... 17 - 304.….... 3 TD's
9) Johnny Holmes...... Fairies.......... 21 - 289......... 1 TD
10) James Lofton....... Zombies.......... 10 - 277........ 2 TD's


Sacks

Player................. Team....... #

1) One Eleven...... Bozos.......... 4
2) Willie Davis...... Zombies..... 3
2) Doug Drone...... Killer Bees... 3
2) Too Tall.......... Sasquatch... 3
2) Mudd Dauber.. Killer Bees......... 3
2) Charles Mann... Zombies....... 3
7) Sam Smucker... Mennonites...... 2
7) Spook............ Sasquatch....... 2
7) Garrett Morris... Killer Bees... 2



Interceptions

Player................ Team...... #

1) Norman Nest....... Killer Bees....... 8
2) Don King............ Toxic Waste..... 4
3) Billy Yoder.......... Mennonites..... 3
4) Wolfgang Hahn.... Third Reich..... 2
4) Gopher.............. Sasquatch...... 2
4) Plus.................. Bozos........... 2
4) Chappy............. Sasquatch..... 2
4) Willie Wasp........ Killer Bees ...... 2
4) Forrest Whittaker.. Fairies............ 2
4) Dieter Schmidt...... Third Reich........ 2
4) Dave Drone........... Killer Bees........ 2
4) Left U-Turn........... Bozos.............. 2
4) Thinker............... Sasquatch.......... 2
4) Hank Hornet........ Killer Bees............. 2
Leading Tackles

Player............... Team......... # Tackles

1) Elliott Gould.......... Killer Bees........ 40
2) One Eleven………. Bozos…………..….... 38 1/2
2) Mudd Dauber....... Killer Bees........... 36
4) Greaterthanfour... Bozos................. 33
5) Sam Smucker...... Mennonites.......... 30
6) Colon Powell.......... Toxic Waste...... 29
7) Tank.................... Sasquatch........ 28 1/2
8) Willie Davis....... Zombies............... 26 1/2
9) Joseph Herrmann... Third Reich........... 26
10) Dice Six.............. Bozos................... 25 1/2
10) Louis Lapp......... Mennonites............ 25 1/2

[RavennaAl]

Here's the schedule for the final week of the regular season with odds....

Third Reich vs. Bozos
Neither team has much to play for, other than pride. The clowns have been on a roll lately. The Reich justs wants to have something to build on for next season. The Reich can keep looking. Bozos by 7

Zombies vs. Toxic Waste
Both teams are coming off of disappointing seasons. It's all a matter of who wants this game more. I think it's the Zombies, by 5

Killer Bees vs. Sasquatch
Kalamazoo will be fighting for their playoff lives.
The 'Quatch are just waiting for next week. Bees over the 'Quatch by 3

Mennonites vs. Flaming Fairies
The Fairies need this game bad, and hope for the 'Quatch to beat the Bees. Not going to happen. Mennonites by 7

[RavennaAl]

Finally, the last games of the regular season are finished. Here's the results......

Toxic Waste 35 - Zombies 31

Three Mile Island took advantage of 4 New Zealand turnovers, 3 interceptions and a fumble, and cruised to victory in their final game of the season, 35-31. Orenthal Simpson led the Waste with 134 yards rushing, scoring 2 Td’s on the ground and returning a kickoff for another. George Dubya completed 8-10-0 passing for 92 yards and 2 TD’s, one to Jerry Falwell and the other to Jim Baker.

Franco Harris had his best day of the year for the Zombies, running for 135 yards and a TD. Dan Fouts and Bart Starr each struggled, as they combined for 7-13-3 passing with 117 yards and a TD. Willie Davis was superb on defense, recording 7 ½ tackles for New Zealand, while the Waste were led by Colon Powell’s 5 ½ tackles, and interceptions by Ollie North, Rush Limbaugh and Carlos Helu.



Curtis 'My Favorite' Martin found a huge hole on the Toxic Waste's right side and scores an easy TD

[RavennaAl]

Battlin’ Bozos 17 - Third Reich 0

The Battlin’ Bozos recorded their first shutout in team history, as they won their fifth game in a row in impressive manor, 17-0. The clown defense limited the Reich to just 56 yards rushing, and put constant pressure on Wilhelm Klink, forcing 3 interceptions. Klink finished the game 11-21-3 for 139 yards.

More or Less ran for 2 touchdowns and Pi was an efficient 6-10-1 passing for 102 yards to lead the Bozos. Defensively, Klaus Werner had 3 ½ tackles and an interception for Munich, while Minus 6, Plus and Not Allowed each had a pick for Battle Creek.

Everywhere Klink went to throw, there were clowns and more clowns

[RavennaAl]

Flaming Fairies 42 - Mennonites 41

Tommy Cruise was nearly perfect, completing 9-10-0 for 248 yards and 3 touchdowns while Johnny Holmes ran for 152 yards and 3 touchdowns as San Francisco edged the Mennonites, 42-41. The win, combined with the Killer Bees loss to the Sasquatch, earned the Fairies the final spot for the playoffs.

The first half was all defense, resulting in a 7-7 tie at halftime. The second half was all offense, in a back and forth battle that went to the final play, where the Mennonites decided to go for the two point conversion and the win, rather than settling for a tie. The Fairies were not to be denied, as they stopped the Amish twice, as there was a penalty on the first attempt that gave the Mennonites a second chance.

Speedy Ezekiel ran for 102 yards and Luthar Lamp had 103 yards and 2 touchdowns for the Mennonites. The Fairy defense was led by Barney Frank who had a career best 7 tackles while the MFCA’s own Weirdwolf Schmidt had 5 for the Mennonites from his safety position.


Speedy (Proverbs 22:1) carries the ball in early 3rd quarter action

[RavennaAl]

Sasquatch 38 - Killer Bees 28

The big guys from Canada built up a big lead early and rolled to a 38-28 victory that, when combined with the Fairies win, eliminated the Killer Bees from the playoffs. Grog carried the load for the ‘Quatch with 135 yards on 14 carries and 2 touchdowns, but it was their defense that made the difference. Gopher came up huge, with 3 ½ tackles and 2 interceptions and Chappy added an interception as well, as the Sasquatch defense stopped the Bees offense, giving up zero yards rushing.

Kerry Kingbee threw for 142 yards on 7-13-3 passing and one touchdown. Garrett Morris returned an interception for a TD and Steve Swarm returned 2 kicks back for scores, but the Bees couldn’t move the ball against the giants from north of the border. Elliott Gould had 6 ½ tackles for Kalamazoo.


There was no room to run, no time to pass for Kalamazoo

[mark robin]

do you plan on adding anymore teams next season?

[RavennaAl]

Mark, YES! I plan to add at least 4 teams, possibly 6 before next season. Teams that will definately be added are the Roman Gladiators and Santa Cruz Tree Hugging Hippies. Teams in consideration are the Bavarian Beemers and the Egyptian Ra, which I might make to serve double duty as my MFCA team, which means double sets of bases for them. I may also add the London Union Jacks and Munich MoonSharks, the fantasy teams from Miggle. Otherwise, if something else strikes my fancy, I'll make them.

Now, here's the final standings for the WMLMF. Stats are coming, as well as Offensive and Defensive players of the year and the leagues MVP. The playoffs and championship games are next. So, just stay tuned and thanks to everyone who has been following the season.

Final standings for the WMLMF 2009 season

NORTH
TEAM ..... W/L............ PF............ PA
Sasquatch 7-3......... 333............ 287
Bozos...... 6-3-1...... 276............ 250
Killer Bees.. 5-5......... 293............ 240
Third Reich 2-8......... 223............ 322

UN_NORTH
Mennonites. 6-4........... 322........ 283
Fairies....... 5-4-1.......... 270.......... 313
Toxic Waste 4-6........... 307......... 315
Zombies..... 4-6........... 245.......... 256