The Fantasy Football season.....

[RavennaAl]

Finally! What a hard few weeks it's been. Sorry to have taken so long, hopefully the rest of the games won't take nearly as long to play.

Week 8 was intense, as each team was playing for their playoff life. Here's the recaps.....


Third Reich 21 - Zombies 17

New Zealand continued it’s slide, losing 4 of their last 5 games, pushing them to the brink of playoff elimination. Wilhelm Klink threw for 273 yards and 2 touchdowns, and the Reich defense only gave up 2 runs over 14 yards to throttle the Zombie offense, as Munich won it’s second game of the year, 21-17.

Marcus Allen finally broke open on a 60 yard run, but the Reich defense stiffened, and the Zombies had to settle for an Adam Vinatieri field goal and a 3-0 lead. Munich struck back on a 9 play, 52 yard drive capped off by a Klink QB sneak from 1 yard out making the score 7-3 after the first quarter.

Jerome Bettis ran 52 yards for the only score of the second quarter and the score stood at 10-7 at the half. Tim Brown’s 19 yard TD catch from Bart Starr put the Zombies up, 17-7. Klink found an open Richard Meier in the end zone to trim the lead to 17-14 going into the final quarter.

Dieter Zimmerman caught Klink’s 2nd TD pass of the day on a drive that was highlighted by a 53 yard run from Fritz Mueller to make it 21-17, Munich. New Zealand drove the ball to the Third Reich 29, but a fierce pass rush from the Munich defense resulted in 3 incompletes in a row and a turnover on downs and Munich ran out the clock for only their second win of the season.

Mueller had 74 yards rushing, as did Marcus Allen of New Zealand, to lead their perspective teams. Willie Davis led the Zombie defense with 4 tackles and an interception, while Manfred Mann had 5 ½ tackles for the Reich.


Klink, #5, runs down Willie Davis, #87 after he picked off this pass intended for Richard Meier, #34

[RavennaAl]

Killer Bees 35 - Flaming Fairies 28

Norman Nest picked off his league leading 8th interception of the year and Dave Drone added two more as Kalamazoo held off a frantic Fairies team to move closer to a playoff berth with a 35-28 victory. Tommy Cruise threw for 370 yards and 4 touchdowns to lead San Francisco.

Peter Pollen got the Bees off to a fast start when he rocketed 76 yards to put Kalamazoo up, 7-0. Drones first interception of the year closed out the first quarte,r ending a long drive by San Francisco.

Jason Stinger caught a Kerry Kingbee pass to push the lead to 14-0. Johnny Holmes took a short pass from Cruise and turned it into a score from 64 yards out to trim the lead to 14-7. Stinger then scored again on a long 70 yard bomb to make it 21-7 at halftime.

The Fairies got the ball to start the second half and Cruise wasted no time in finding Gene Simmons open for the only score of the third quarter and bringing the Fairies back to within 7, 21-14.

Stinger caught his 3rd TD pass of the day to start the 4th. Once again Cruise found an open Simmons to make it 28-21 Kalamazoo. The Fairies tried an onsides kick, but the Bees recovered, giving them great field position. Steve Swarm made the most of it by running it in for a 35-21 lead. San Francisco wasn’t through yet, as Simmons also scored his 3rd TD of the day giving the Fairies hope when they recovered the next onsides kick. Their rally came up short, however; when Drone intercepted the ball on the last play of the game.

Simmons caught 5 passes for 172 yards and 3 touchdowns for the Fairies while Pollen ran for 102 yards and a score to lead Kalamazoo. Elliott Gould had 5 ½ tackles for the Bees while Ron Simmons led the Fairies with 5.



Gene Simmons, #30 is wide open on this pass from Cruise, #6

[RavennaAl]

Battlin’ Bozos 30 - Sasquatch 28

The beleaguered Bozo defense came up big when it mattered most, recovering a fumble, sacking Stinkwater twice and stopping the ‘Quatch on a critical 4th down to win their 3rd game in a row and keep their playoff hopes alive with a narrow 30-28 victory.

Both defenses played strong in the first quarter, as the ‘Quatch blocked a field goal attempt and the clowns recovered a Theodore fumble as the two teams played to a scoreless draw going into the second quarter.

Bernie’s field goal gave the Bozos a 3-0 lead, but the big guys answered right away when Stinkwater hooked up with Tipper on a 26 yard TD pass, making it 7-3 Sasquatch. Pi dove in from 1 yard out to put the clowns back in front, 10-7. Muckmans 33 yard run and 2 Cents 31 yard TD catch finished out the 2nd quarter scoring leaving Battle Creek in front, 17-14.

Grog opened the 3rd quarter by rambling 80 yards for a score and a 21-17 lead. More or Less took a screen pass from Pi 25 yards to score and make it 24-21 at the end of 3.

Muckman found another gaping hole in the Bozo defense and ran 80 yards untouched for a 28-24 lead. The clowns battled back, and Pi’s 2 yard option run stunned the ‘Quatch. The extra point failed, giving the Sasquatch the opportunity to only having to kick a field goal to win. The clowns didn’t have to worry about that scenario, as their defense stopped the ‘Quatch on 4th and 2 preserving the victory.

Pi finished the game 8-14-0 for 202 yards and 2TD’s, while Muckman ran for 141 yards and 2 scores. FM led the clowns with 3 tackles and a sack, while Chappy was tops for the big guys with 6½ tackles.



Left U-Turn recovers this fumble after Theodore gets hit by Plus

[RavennaAl]

Midwest Mennonites 38 - Toxic Waste 35

Speedy Ezekiel ran for a career best 174 yards and a TD, as the Mennonites clinched a playoff spot with a thrilling 38-35 come from behind victory. A neutral zone infraction late in the game proved to be costly for the Waste as it negated what would have been a game clinching interception by Ollie North. Instead, it kept the Mennonite drive alive and allowed Steven Stucky to make a game wining reception with just seconds remaining for the Amish.

Speedy got the game off with a bang, as he returned the opening kickoff 90 yards for a TD and a quick 7-0 lead for the Mennonites. Orenthal Simpson answered with a 76 yard run of his own to even the score at 7 all. Billy Bob Weisser capped off an 11 play drive with a 1 yard QB sneak giving the Amish a 14-7 lead. George Dubya connected with Steven Colbert on a 52 yard pass play to tie the game at 14-14. Weisser’s TD pass to Luthar Lamp gave the Mennonites a 21-14 lead going into the second quarter.

The defenses stepped it up a notch, and Simpson’s TD late in the third made it 21-21. Mathew Martin kicked a 37 yard field goal on the last play of the half, making the score 24-21 Mennonites.

Three Mile Island got the ball to start the second half, but they came up empty on a 15 play drive when they went for it on 4th down instead of going for a field goal. The Mennonites came back, and Speedy scored from 1 yard out to start the 4th quarter giving them a 31-21 lead. Jerry Falwell caught a Dubya pass to make it 31-28. On the next series, Speedy took a vicious hit from Ollie North and fumbled the ball, giving the Waste great field position at the Mennonite 28. It only took 1 play for Colbert to find daylight and score, giving the Waste the lead, 35-31. Weisser led the Amish down the field to the Waste 20 yard line. North stepped in front of an errant Weisser pass for what appeared to be a game saving interception, but a penalty on the play gave the ball back to the Mennonites, and,4 plays later, on 4th down, Weisser found an open Stucky for the game winning TD.

Simpson ran for 220 yards for Three Mile Island while Weisser finished 8-11-0, 107 yards and 2 TD’s. Colon Powell had 6 tackles for the Waste, while Defender Bender, Billy Yoder and Sam Smucker each had 4 for the Mennonites.


The Toxic Waste defense sets up deep in their end against the Mennonite offense

[RavennaAl]

Standings after 'week 8'

NORTH
TEAM ..... W/L............ PF............ PA
Sasquatch 5-3......... 260............ 231
Killer Bees.. 5-3......... 230............ 163
Bozos...... 4-3-1...... 220............ 215
Third Reich 2-6......... 195............ 270

UN_NORTH
Mennonites. 6-2........... 257........ 213
Fairies....... 3-4-1.......... 197.......... 251
Toxic Waste 3-5........... 251......... 253
Zombies..... 3-5........... 186.......... 197


There’s 2 weeks remaining in the regular season and the playoffs are almost here. Some teams are in control of their own fate, while others need help to get in. Here’s the breakdown….

Mennonites (6-2) Already clinched a playoff spot. Will claim the #1 seed with a win in either of their remaining games.

Sasquatch (5-3) Can earn a spot with a win in either of their remaining games, or a loss by both the Fairies and Toxic Waste in either of their final 2 games.

Killer Bees (5-3) Can earn a spot with a victory in either of their remaining games, or a loss by the Fairies in either of their remaining games.

Battlin’ Bozos (4-3-1) Can earn a spot with a victory in either of their remaining games, or a loss by the Fairies, Toxic Waste and Zombies in any of their remaining games.

Flaming Fairies (3-4-1) Need to win both remaining games, combined with either the Bozos, Sasquatch or Killer Bees losing both of their remaining games.

Toxic Waste (3-5) Need to win both of their remaining games, have the Bozos lose both of their final games and have the Fairies lose one of their remaining games.

Zombies (3-5) Need to win both remaining games , have the Bozos lose both of their final games and have the Fairies lose one of their remaining games.

Third Reich has been eliminated from playoff contention.

[RavennaAl]

Here's the stats after 8 weeks of play. With only 2 games remaining, it looks like a showdown between Grog and Muckman for top rushing honors. Though he doesn't lead in yardage, Billy Bob Weisser has to be considered the top QB in the league with an incredible 139.0 rating. Gene Simmons has been coming on strong for the Fairies in the recieving department, a great accomplishment when you consider that he is a tight end instead of a wide reciever. One Eleven leads the league in sacks, will he be able to keep that spot? Norman Nest has been a monster in the Bees secondary, with twice as many interceptions as the next person. Greaterthanfour doesn't lead in tackles, but considering he is the only non-lineman in the top 10 ( He's a safety ) speaks a great deal about his abilities.


Stats after 'week 8'
Leading Rushers

......Player ............... Team............. Yards/Att....... Ave....... Tds

1) Muckman........... Sasquatch........ 1104 / 95....... 11.6....... 11
2) Grog................ Sasquatch......... 1006 / 91....... 11.1....... 13
3) Speedy Ezekiel... Mennonites ....... 790 / 91....... 8.7....... 10
4) Orenthal Simpson. Toxic Waste...... 768 / 84....... 9.1........ 9
5) Peter Pollen...... Killer Bees.......... 700 / 69........ 10.1 ........ 9
6) 2 Cents........... Bozos................. 678 / 72......... 9.4........ 5
7) Steve Swarm..... Killer Bees ........ 677 / 69....... 9.8....... 5
8) Luthar Lamp…... Mennonites…….... 620 / 78...…… 7.8.…..… 6
9) Marcus Allen…... Zombies………...... 604 / 58.…... 10.4.…... 6
10) Steve Colbert... Toxic Waste....... 551 / 75...... 7.3......... 6



Passing Leaders

..........Player...........Team .......... Comp - Att - Int - TD’s... Yards..........QB Rating


1) Tommy Cruise... Fairies............ 75 - 118 - 12..... 13 TD’s..... 1556 yds..........104.2
2) Wilhelm Klink.... Third Reich....... 72 - 124 - 10..... 11 TD’s..... 1398 yds.......... 93.4
3) Billybob Weisser Mennonites ..... 55 - 92 - 1..... 14 TD‘s...... 1171 yds..........139.0
4) George Dubya .. Toxic Waste... 61 - 94 - 7..... 13 TD‘s..... 1153 yds............115.8
5) Pi................... Bozos............. 45 - 88 - 5..... 9 TD‘s...... 1029 yds............103.8
6) Starr/Fouts **... Zombies........ 53 -86 - 8..... 8 TD’s..... 972 yds...............92.8
7) Kerry Kingbee.. Killer Bees....... 39 - 74 - 7..... 13 TD‘s........ 941 yds............98.2
8) Stinkwater....... Sasquatch....... 40 - 64 - 5..... 9 TD’s..... 898 yds..............113.3

** The Zombies alternate QB's during the course of the game between Bart Starr and Dan Fouts

Leading Receivers

Player ................. Team........... Catches - yards... TD’s

1) Gene Simmons..... Fairies........... 21 - 633...... 8 TD's
2) Willie Wolf........... Third Reich..... 16 - 454...... 4 TD’s
3) Steve Colbert…… Toxic Waste….. 16 - 434.....… 6 TD's
4) Jason Stinger....... Killer Bees...... 10 - 397......... 7 TD's
5) Luthar Lamp......... Mennonites..... 13 - 305........ 4 TD's
6) Speedy Ezekiel..... Mennonites..... 12 - 301...... 3 TD's
7) Mike Jackson........ Fairies.......... 13 - 290......... 1 TD
8) Johnny Holmes...... Fairies.......... 21 - 289......... 1 TD
9) Mudder Smucker.. Mennonites.... 14 - 258.….... 3 TD's
9) Jim Baker............ Toxic Waste..... 13 - 258........ 2 TD's



Sacks

Player................. Team....... #

1) One Eleven...... Bozos.......... 4
2) Willie Davis...... Zombies..... 3
2) Doug Drone...... Killer Bees... 3
2) Too Tall.......... Sasquatch... 3
2) Mudd Dauber.. Killer Bees......... 3
6) Sam Smucker... Mennonites...... 2
6) Spook............ Sasquatch....... 2
6) Charles Mann... Zombies....... 2
6) Garrett Morris... Killer Bees... 2
Six tied with 1


Interceptions

Player................ Team...... #

1) Norman Nest....... Killer Bees... 8
2) Don King............ Toxic Waste.. 4
3) Billy Yoder.......... Mennonites.. 3
4) Wolfgang Hahn.... Third Reich.. 2
4) Gopher.............. Sasquatch... 2
4) Plus.................. Bozos.......... 2
4) Chappy............. Sasquatch..... 2
4) Willie Wasp........ Killer Bees ...... 2
4) Forrest Whittaker.. Fairies............ 2
4) Dieter Schmidt...... Third Reich........ 2
4) Dave Drone........... Killer Bees........ 2

Leading Tackles

Player............... Team......... # Tackles

1) Elliott Gould.......... Killer Bees........ 35 1/2
2) One Eleven………. Bozos…………..….... 33 1/2
2) Mudd Dauber....... Killer Bees........... 32
4) Greaterthanfour... Bozos................. 29
5) Colon Powell.......... Toxic Waste...... 28
6) Sam Smucker...... Mennonites.......... 27
7) Tank.................... Sasquatch........ 26
8) Rod Stroker........ Fairies................. 25
9) Willie Davis....... Zombies............... 23 1/2
10) Ron Simmons...... Fairies................ 23

[RavennaAl]

'Week 9' games and odds.....

Toxic Waste vs. Flaming Fairies..... Toxic Waste favored by 5

Third Reich vs. Sasquatch ........... Sasquatch favored by 5

Zombies vs. Mennonites.............. Mennonites favored by 7

Killer Bees vs. Bozos................... Even

Game results coming soon!

[RavennaAl]

Week 9 is wrapped up. Here's the results........

Sasquatch 35 - Third Reich 28


The Canadian Sasquatch clinched a playoff spot with a hard earned victory over a feisty Third Reich team that played much better than their 2-7 record. Stinkwater completed 7-11-0 for 210 yards as the big guys from up north stopped their 3 game losing streak.

Wilhelm Klink completed 9-15-1 for 266 yards, but the Reich could only muster 61 yards on the ground as the Sasquatch defense returned to their earlier form, stuffing Munich on every run. Munich managed to tie the game early in the fourth quarter on a Fritz Mueller TD run, but the ’Quatch put together a ground pounding, 80 yard, 15 play drive that was capped by a 1 yard Stinkwater plunge for a TD on the next to last play of the game that gave them the 35-28 win.





Grog, #32, makes a catch in 3rd quarter action

[RavennaAl]

Zombies 28 - Mennonites 24


Billie ‘White Shoes’ Johnson stunned the Mennonites on the games final play, catching a Bart Starr pass and weaving his way past 6 defenders for a 36 yard TD and a 28-24 victory. It was a fitting ending to a strange game that saw Roger Raber, the Mennonites left offensive tackle, recover a Speedy Ezekiel fumble and ramble 25 yards for a TD, and Adam Vinatieri hitting the left upright on a field goal attempt.

Curtis ‘My Favorite’ Martin rushed for a game high 116 yards while Starr/Fouts combined on 8-13-0 passing for 153 yards. Alan Page had 5 tackles for the Zombies, as did Louis Lapp for the Amish . Billy Bob Weisser finished 6-10-0 for 77 yards, but struggled in the first half when he was 1-5 for 14 yards as the Mennonites seemed to come out flat, perhaps suffering from an emotional letdown after clinching a playoff spot a week earlier.



Billie Johnson, #84, returns this kickoff for the Zombies

[RavennaAl]

Battlin’ Bozos 39 - Killer Bees 35

Battle Creek used a rotating trio of running backs that seemed to confuse the Kalamazoo defense as the Bozos won the battle for southwest Michigan supremacy and earned a playoff spot with a thrilling 39-35 victory. 2 Cents, More or Less and 5 ½ each rushed for over 100 yards and Pi threw for 99 more as the clowns avenged their loss to the Bees earlier in the year.

Kalamazoo was led by Peter Pollens 138 yards rushing, and Sam Swarm returned a kick 90 yards for a score, but the Bozo defense came up big when it mattered most, forcing 4 punts, 2 in the pivotal fourth quarter. One Eleven had 5 tackles and Left U-Turn an interception for the clowns while league leader Elliott Gould had 4 ½ tackles for the Bees.



The Bozos head coach, Slappy O'Flaherty, watches the game from the corner of the end zone